Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters

Badass

 
    This movie was everything I hoped it would be. It was consistently awesome with every witch they fought and dare I say, someone Gemma Arterton was more badass than Jeremy Renner for once! Hansel (Renner) was definitely more 'kid brother who mucks up every now and then and has to have big sister come save his ass.'

Girl power.

    Plus it was nice that they made evil witches ugly instead of beautiful and seductive. It felt more like a fairy tale/folk story that way. 

   The story wasn't as predictable as I thought it would be either. I felt like it was mocking me every time I guessed something wrong. 

You thought you knew where we were going with this but you didn't haha. 

   I thought it was interesting that they brought up the subject of diabetes and an alternative to a defibrillator. Futuristic science in a fairy tale is definitely intriguing; especially when explained in a fairy tale way. The weapons were cool, the spells were cool...It was just cool, ok? I'd say 8 out of 10. Nice action, kickass movie. 

A Haunted House

LOL

    EDIT: Ok so 'lol' by itself isn't good enough of a description for a movie...I get it. (Or is it?)

    This is the first comedy movie (in a very long time) to make me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe. I'd say that's pretty damn good. The jokes were mostly funny although I could do without the scene with Nick sexing it up with stuffed animals. It was uncomfortable. But I do go into comedy movies knowing they plan to make me uncomfortable...just not like that.

    They made some Blair Witch references and I believe a Left for Dead reference about startling the witch + other horror movie stuff. It was funny, I laughed, watch it when you got the time.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Insert super duper geek out session here.

    When I got wind that they were making this into a movie I thought I wouldn't be able to hold out to see it. Then they decided to make it into three parts. You're KILLIN' me smalls. Luckily I got to see the first installment a few days after it was released and it was everything I wanted it to be and more.

    To back it up a bit, I feel it is story time. You see, The Hobbit was a book my father had read to my brother and me when we were little kids. My brother would act out any action scenes respectively and I'd tell him to shut up and sit down so dad could continue. This book was my childhood. So after seeing the film, I decided I needed to go back and read it again.

    I have to give the creators of the movie a slow applause. They direct quoted from the book many times and made Bilbo Baggins out to be even more lovable and endearing. 

And who can't fall in love with anything Martin Freeman does in general?

    Seriously. This movie did good. It was a total of 2 hours and 49 minutes long and I loved every minute of it. The only happiness I felt from it coming to an end was that I could go to the restroom and relieve my bladder without missing anything. Otherwise I was sad that it was over and that I'd have to wait an eternity to see the next installment.

   A coworker of mined asked, "Didn't it feel dragged out to you?" and I replied with, "No, why?" insulted anyone could insinuate that this movie was too long. His reasoning was that half and hour had passed and they were still in Bilbo's house. I remember stating that was my favorite part and he looked at me like I was crazy. To each their own.

    Since I have no complaints and wouldn't be able to state any downfalls with this movie (other than how annoyed I was that they wouldn't show the dragon's face throughout the whole beginning as if A DRAGON'S FACE is a mystery), I'll have to name a few my coworker had issues with.

The one dragon eye to woo them all. I can practically see Benedict Cumberbatch in that galaxy eye.

   First being the movie was dragged out. How long can dwarfs stay in a hobbit hole and keep people entertained? 

    My answer: The whole movie. They drink, make jokes, and sing songs with their smooth as milk chocolate voices about mountains COME. ON.

I'd want them over to wash my dishes if I didn't know they'd eat me out of bed and home

...like a certain friend of mine does already..hmm.

    Secondly: The orcs and such were all animated and not real people.

    Boo-friggin-hoo. I don't really get how that's an issue. Someone explain to me why this is an issue. No. Really.

The trolls were hilarious, by the way. Being human actors wouldn't necessarily improve anything.

    There was stuff added to the story.

    Yes, other Tolkien lore was added to the movie. Considering it's the same world, I don't have a problem with it. Plus it added some cool story telling feel to it. The movie literally felt like a book in motion. It was that cool.

   Basically, I am all-around biased towards this movie and can see no wrong in it. I acknowledge my coworker's complaints but do not see them as failings. It just feels like unnecessary nitpicking on an awesomely done movie. 10 out of 10 from me. Everyone should see it!