Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters

Badass

 
    This movie was everything I hoped it would be. It was consistently awesome with every witch they fought and dare I say, someone Gemma Arterton was more badass than Jeremy Renner for once! Hansel (Renner) was definitely more 'kid brother who mucks up every now and then and has to have big sister come save his ass.'

Girl power.

    Plus it was nice that they made evil witches ugly instead of beautiful and seductive. It felt more like a fairy tale/folk story that way. 

   The story wasn't as predictable as I thought it would be either. I felt like it was mocking me every time I guessed something wrong. 

You thought you knew where we were going with this but you didn't haha. 

   I thought it was interesting that they brought up the subject of diabetes and an alternative to a defibrillator. Futuristic science in a fairy tale is definitely intriguing; especially when explained in a fairy tale way. The weapons were cool, the spells were cool...It was just cool, ok? I'd say 8 out of 10. Nice action, kickass movie. 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Insert super duper geek out session here.

    When I got wind that they were making this into a movie I thought I wouldn't be able to hold out to see it. Then they decided to make it into three parts. You're KILLIN' me smalls. Luckily I got to see the first installment a few days after it was released and it was everything I wanted it to be and more.

    To back it up a bit, I feel it is story time. You see, The Hobbit was a book my father had read to my brother and me when we were little kids. My brother would act out any action scenes respectively and I'd tell him to shut up and sit down so dad could continue. This book was my childhood. So after seeing the film, I decided I needed to go back and read it again.

    I have to give the creators of the movie a slow applause. They direct quoted from the book many times and made Bilbo Baggins out to be even more lovable and endearing. 

And who can't fall in love with anything Martin Freeman does in general?

    Seriously. This movie did good. It was a total of 2 hours and 49 minutes long and I loved every minute of it. The only happiness I felt from it coming to an end was that I could go to the restroom and relieve my bladder without missing anything. Otherwise I was sad that it was over and that I'd have to wait an eternity to see the next installment.

   A coworker of mined asked, "Didn't it feel dragged out to you?" and I replied with, "No, why?" insulted anyone could insinuate that this movie was too long. His reasoning was that half and hour had passed and they were still in Bilbo's house. I remember stating that was my favorite part and he looked at me like I was crazy. To each their own.

    Since I have no complaints and wouldn't be able to state any downfalls with this movie (other than how annoyed I was that they wouldn't show the dragon's face throughout the whole beginning as if A DRAGON'S FACE is a mystery), I'll have to name a few my coworker had issues with.

The one dragon eye to woo them all. I can practically see Benedict Cumberbatch in that galaxy eye.

   First being the movie was dragged out. How long can dwarfs stay in a hobbit hole and keep people entertained? 

    My answer: The whole movie. They drink, make jokes, and sing songs with their smooth as milk chocolate voices about mountains COME. ON.

I'd want them over to wash my dishes if I didn't know they'd eat me out of bed and home

...like a certain friend of mine does already..hmm.

    Secondly: The orcs and such were all animated and not real people.

    Boo-friggin-hoo. I don't really get how that's an issue. Someone explain to me why this is an issue. No. Really.

The trolls were hilarious, by the way. Being human actors wouldn't necessarily improve anything.

    There was stuff added to the story.

    Yes, other Tolkien lore was added to the movie. Considering it's the same world, I don't have a problem with it. Plus it added some cool story telling feel to it. The movie literally felt like a book in motion. It was that cool.

   Basically, I am all-around biased towards this movie and can see no wrong in it. I acknowledge my coworker's complaints but do not see them as failings. It just feels like unnecessary nitpicking on an awesomely done movie. 10 out of 10 from me. Everyone should see it!

Silent Hill Revelation: For the Fans

For those not in the know, Silent Hill Revelation is basically an adaption of the video game Silent Hill 3. (As well as a sequel to the first movie.)

This.

In my opinion, this movie is what the first Silent Hill movie should have been. It catered to Silent Hill fans A LOT. Of course that means it's not really going to be a movie for nonfans. Or at least I don't really see how nonfans could like it.

It's got a sporadic pace, kind of like a roller coaster. From the start you're thrown into the action; the nightmare that is silent hill (much like the beginning of SH3!). Then it's slow for a while, then it's fast! then slow again. They had to put in a lot of explanations and flashbacks from the first movie (which was executed rather well) but I'm not sure it's something people would like.

Reasons:
1) Not that many jump scares
2) Weird soundtrack
3) what the fuck is going on?

There weren't many stupid decisions either. Basically: This wasn't a lame B-movie gore ride which I think made people bored with it (from what I observed in the theater I was in). The guys in the row below me were more preoccupied with all the boobies and vaginas more than anything else.

So now that I've talked about it from a nonfan point of view...Here's my fan reaction:

IT. WAS. AWESOME.

Reasons:
1) Not that many jumps scares
2) Akira Yamaoka remixed the soundtrack a bit but still very SH3
3) I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

Chris' name was changed to Harry. Heather looks and moves like Heather.  THEY DIDN'T MAKE HER A WUSS. This was actually what I was seriously worried about. The Heather I knew was really strong and didn't take shit from anyone. She's exactly like that in the movie.

All around Badass.

There's new and old monsters! The new ones were super cool so I'm not upset about this in any way, shape or form. Some people may not be happy with what they chose to do with Pyramid Head, but I like it. Once you see the movie, you'll understand what I mean.

Now things I hated about it:
1) The actress picked for Claudia
2) Vincent

As I mentioned in my first blog post, Carrie-Ann Moss didn't care to see what the video game Claudia was like and decided to play her how she liked. That was her mistake. Her version of Claudia basically sucked. 

In this picture, we see her failing at Claudia. She isn't even happy with herself ever.

As for Vincent, I could go on and on but I'll just leave it at: I understand it's a movie but does there REALLY need to be a love interest? 

Go back to the wall, Snow!

Even with that, I have to say to Silent Hill fans, I HIGHLY recommend you see it. It was great. And if you can, see it in 3D. I had fun swatting at the ash falling in my face.

To nonfans, I'd say go see it only if you really like story and disturbing movies. Go for the creepy ambience, not for the jump scares or screaming girls.



Possible Spoilers******* Not about plot. Mostly easter eggs I suppose.

There are TONS of nerdy moments for Silent Hill fans. These include:

Locked doors
Robbie the Rabbit
Travis Grady (from SH Origins)
Possible hint at SH: Downpour
Pyramid Head
Missionary
Save Point Symbol
Metatron
The Pipe weapon!
etc, etc.

I pretty much fangasmed the whole movie.

Hunger Games and Battle Royale

People are constantly fighting about which one of these is better and which one is more terrifying. Fight no more, for I have made lists. These are based off of book and movie combined. This way you can see the similarities and differences at a glance!


Battle Royale

• Not televised
• Government mandated
• No one really knows the details (other than what they heard from rumors) but they know it exists and they hear about the lone survivor once it's over.
• Only one survivor is allowed.
• It can only last 3 days long.
• Every 6 hours, who died is announced along with danger zones.
• If someone isn't killed within the first 24 hours, everyone dies. 
• Students are chosen without prior knowledge and with their class. (Killing friends)
• Family members are told. If they try to fight it, they are shot on spot. (Or tortured then killed.)
• Students are brought to a secluded (often prior population evacuated) area. (in the movie and book, it's an island.)
• Students have the rules explained to them just before it starts.
• All students wear a necklace that is water proof. If they remain in danger zones, try to take it off the necklace will blow their head off. 
• If they try to escape the island, there are battleships waiting to kill them.
• They are allowed to commit suicide.
• Every student is issued a bag with a weapon and sustenance. They are also given a map and are allowed to take the bag they had on them when taken.

Hunger Games

• Televised
• Government?? mandated
• Only one survivor allowed. (unless the head changes the rules, apparently.)
• Lasts as long as it takes for there to be a lone survivor.
• Everyone knows about the games.
• Tributes are picked by raffle.
• People may volunteer to take a Tribute's place in the games.
• Tributes are trained before it starts.
• Tributes may gain sponsors who parachute them items during the games.
• It is a free for all to get bags of food and other items.
• The games have specialized arenas. (Specialized; ie. Forest arena.)
• Those in charge of the games may use traps against the Tributes. (ex: fireballs)
• Tributes are not allowed to commit suicide on purpose.
• Tributes are allowed to take one item with them to the games.
• There are two Tributes per District. (Killing strangers and possibly fellow district member)

If you have more to add to the lists or have a correction for me, lay it on me. I'm not a Hunger Games expert so I might be missing a lot here.

Silent Hill - The Movie

    Every Silent Hill fan's nightmare; and I'm not talking about Silent Hill itself.

    The movie was an adaptation from the game series, or rather a hybrid of two or three of the games. I won't summarize the movie but here's how it became a hybrid.

    It took the initial plot of the first game, Harry Mason looking for his daughter. 

Wow. Harry's got some legs and--hold up.

    Wait...That's not Harry...Harry isn't even in the movie? The movie creators decided people would be more worried about a female than a male so they changed the character to Rose looking for her daughter Sharon (not Cheryl in this movie. Why the name change of the daughter, I'll never know). Her husband, Christopher DaSilva, is looking for the both of them, however. While it has the first game's base plot and also a few of its characters, it also uses Silent Hill 3's soundtrack (with a few added beats here and there) and Pyramid Head from the second game.

    All-in-all this movie would have been a decent adaptation. And it was. At least I thought it was. 

    Look at it this way; it's a movie. They basically made their own Silent Hill with echoes from the video game. They gave us pretty cool camera angles and scary monsters we saw in the games. (Nurses, Pyramid Head, those annoying bugs.) 

Then there was this guy. Could be worse. Could've been a toilet.

    Pyramid Head might not have the same reason for existence as per the second game, but he did have a role and explanation. He was the punisher. He's also a sexual symbol. Alessa was born out of wedlock and raped, so I suppose you can string those together. The point is, why get mad that is isn't exactly like the game? They put everything we liked into one. A big bowl of locked drawers and checking the map 50 times. No, seriously. That's in the movie. Go watch it again if you didn't notice. 

    I felt that this movie did rather well at being a video game made into movie. (Better than Doom!) However, we now have Silent Hill Revelation 3D coming out in October. It has a different everything; director, writer, etc. This is pretty worrisome. Especially when one of the actresses herself admitted to not even caring to look at the video game as reference for her character. (Carrie-anne Moss playing Claudia, in case you were wondering.) Also, their remake all together of the character Vincent. 

Snow, what are you doing? Go back to the Wall.

    Pretty sure he's supposed to be a middle aged man, not a teenager attending school with Heather (whose name isn't even Heather!). But I'll keep my reservations for now.