Die Hard Died Hard in My Heart

No, it's not. It's a very bad day to Die hard.

    If there's anything you should know about me at all, it should be that I friggin love the Die Hard series. The latest addition however...

Like father. Like son. Like Hell.

    Yeah. Like Hell I'd ever watch this piece of crap again. 

    Let me start from the beginning. Growing up- ok maybe that's too early. No need for me to go Chunk. (The Goonies for you uncultured types.) When I heard they were going to make this Die Hard, I was ecstatic. I have seen every Die Hard before it a good amount of times throughout my life. When the 4th Die Hard was released I saw it two days in a row with different people. After that, I had some crazy dreams where I had to save some lady and there were helicopters crashing into buildings and the like. It was pretty awesome.

    But, I digress...I was told the man behind the movie had changed along with the man's idea of who McClane was. Ruh-roh. Right then I knew something wasn't going to go right. They were going to make McClane less funny and more serious. Um...what? McClane is supposed to throw out silly jokes once in a while. It's his personality. When you live a life full of bullshit, you gotta joke about it once in a while to stay sane. He had a few lines in there that were jokes, and didn't think too smart about some things but I guess we could chalk it up to becoming old and bitter and dumb. I don't know.

    Once I saw the movie I was super unimpressed and felt cheated. What was this wannabe Die Hard? His son?? Jerkface?? People?? UGGHH???

    Honestly this will be the worst review I ever give because it's been forever since I saw it and since then I've tried to forget it even existed. It was that bad.

    A coworker asked me a while back, "What did you think of the fifth Die Hard?" and I curtly replied, "What? There's only four."

    Live Free or Die Hard was just such a fun movie with fun characters. Sure the plot was whatever but I didn't care. It was fun. This one, however...It was depressing. The story was a complete waste. I don't even wanna talk about it anymore.

    And if you're wondering why I even bothered now (especially so late int he game) it's because I saw it at work...and I became enraged like a bull seeing red. 

You don't exiiiisssst.